the things we do

i told my mother i wasn't feeling well, so she made an appointment for me. with an "electrode machine."
"mom, why am i doing this?"
"because the machine will test your organs."
"my organs?"
"yes, your organs."
"ok...hold on. why are we testing my organs?"
"because then you will know what organ is the problem!"
"um..." i wanted to know why my organs were a problem in the first place but lacked the stamina. "...how much is this costing me?"
"it is free!"
free didn't make it any better. "mom, i have to go."
"ok...ok...but thursday?"
i've been scheduled for a free electrode test that will irrevocably determine the health of my various organs. right. why is it free? i'm envisioning electrodes fashioned from chewing gum... but most of all, why can't the woman just let me die in peace?